kit kat: what do I do with real vanilla??

Help!

Greetings fellow mad tastiers… I am in desperate need of some help to create my own mad tasty food. Let me explain…

Ever since I was about 14 years old and I read an article in Cosmo magazine where they said that every woman (even though I was just a girl at the time) should have a “signature scent,” I have been wearing a type of vanilla perfume or body spray. It is, now, my signature scent. I love vanilla everything. Vanilla smells – perfume, candles. Vanilla food – ice cream, the flavored tootsie rolls with the blue wrappers. Everything. Except vanilla vodka, which I USED to love, but thanks to one fateful night on the town the summer between freshman and sophomore years of college, I can no longer drink it.

So vanilla is the thing for me. And as a special treat as part of my Christmas gift, my dear friend, Elaine in London, sent me a vial of real vanilla from Madagascar. And I was overjoyed – I’ve never actually seen REAL vanilla. And it’s awesome. But … I have NO IDEA what to do with it. So I am reaching out to you all, dear friends, to help me come up with a dish or a reason to use it. Any tips on cooking with real vanilla? Dishes that are your favorite? What else should I know? I assume I don’t just rub it on my wrists and wear it…

kitchen katastrophe: homemade bbq chicken pizza

welcome back my lovelies! kit kat is back! one might think that there have been no kitchen katastrophe posts in a while because there have been no kitchen katastrophes. if only that were the case... alas, i have not improved in the kitchen. this makes me avoid cooking more and more. but i shall prevail! or, more accurately, attempt to prevail and record my misadventures here.

to begin, i thought i would write about a recipe i made that was so perfect until literally the last second.

at the lovely hornbachers grocery store (yes, that's really the name) in fargo, north dakota, where my parents live, i found a fun pre-made pizza crust. it was whole wheat, which makes me feel like i'm eating healthily, so i bought it wondering what i could make with it. and then it hit me: homemade pizza! possibly one of the easiest things ever - how could i screw up? if you are short on time and want to throw something easy together, use this recipe for a delicious barbecue chicken pizza:

"Homemade" Barbecue Chicken Pizza
Ingredients

1. two chicken breasts
   
2. shredded cheese - i prefer colby jack blend
3. pre-made pizza crust (e.g. boboli or whatever hornbacher's sells)
4. barbecue sauce (i recommend hunt's original)
5. jalapenos, onions, or other veggies you like
   

Directions

• Cook the chicken breast in oil with some salt and pepper to taste. Cut into pieces about the size of a quarter
  
• Spread barbecue sauce on the pizza crust - use as little or be as liberal as you like - depends on how much barbecue you like
• Place the chicken on the barbecue sauce, cover with cheese and any veggies you like
• Follow baking instructions on the pizza crust label
• Enjoy!
  

i call this "homemade" in quotations because nothing is really MADE per se - you could make your own crust, but i don't know how to do that.

bbq chicken pizza is quite possibly my favorite food if done correctly. i LOVE it. so on the night that i was making this for my mom and i, i was quite excited. i splurged and bought organic chicken (which is really expensive in remote fargo), all natural cheese and put jalapenos on half of the pizza since my mom doesn't like them. we were so hungry waiting for it to bake. the directions suggested i bake it on a cookie sheet, which i did. i took it out of the oven and let it cool on the counter for a bit. i grabbed the rolling pizza cutter and starting cutting - not realizing the cookie sheet was not fully on the counter. as i drew the cutter towards me, it tried cutting pizza that wasn't balanced on the counter and all of a sudden, before i could blink - the pizza was all over my shoe, the floor, the shelves below the counter... my mom was standing next to me and we stared at each other with mouths agape. after picking it up, here is what it looked like:

of all my kitchen katastrophes, this was the one with which i was the most disappointed. we were shocked and dismayed and hungry. in the end, it was arby's roast beef for us. such a sad compromise.

what is your backup dinner?

kitchen katastrophe: homemade applesauce

when staying with my friend in paris last fall, she had a bowl full of VERY ripe apples. they had been sitting around for at least 2 weeks while i was there - a few being eaten here and there. after she went to southern france for a weekend and came home with more apples from her mother-in-law, we decided we had to use them. and thus is my story of attempting to make homemade apple compote (apple sauce).

our journey begins with the most basic step. peeling and cutting of the apples.
the picture above looks very nice, mostly because we took out the apples that i turned red after bleeding on them. my friend, living in france, does not have an apple peeler, so she peels all of her apples with a little rounded knife. i am not so adept at this method. in any case, for every one quarter of an apple i peeled, she peeled 2 whole apples. we got through the bowl pretty quickly.

next, we put brown sugar, a fresh vanilla pod, cinammon, lemon juice, and a bit of water into a pot placed on low heat. we stirred the mixture until it was kind of carmelized. i would guess less than half a cup of brown sugar, but it's really dependant upon your own tastes - if you like it sweeter, use more. stir over the heat until the sugar is kind of dissolved.
then the fun part - add the apples! at first, it doesn't look like much. just apples in a pot. continue stirring every few minutes and eventually the apples will soak up the sugar.
you may need to add water as you go. you want to make sure there is always enough liquid over the apples. it should take about 1/2 hour on slow heat for the apples to naturally break down into apple sauce. you could eat it when it looks like this, or continue with the heat and use the wooden spoon to mush (mash?) the apples more. it eventually becomes tbe yummiest applesauce ever! my friend made it look really easy to make; i have yet to recreate it, but once i do, i will let you know how it goes.
i asked my friend, what are the best kind of apples to use? apples good for "eating" work best for her. if using granny smith or "cooking" apples, you might need to add sugar at the end before eating to sweeten it a bit. this is served deliciously warm or after putting in the fridge you can eat it cold. it should keep for a few weeks in the fride. mmmmm.... that's mad tasty.

kitchen katastrophe: bran muffins

when i got my new mixer for christmas, i was super excited. i kept dreaming of all these things i could make, but i was slightly afraid and didn't know where to start. then i read an article about how bran muffins are good for you and i was instantly taken back to my childhood when we would make homemade bran muffins. i think only my mom and i would eat them, but they were delicious! sometimes we would add blueberries to make them even better, but i didn't have any blueberries to add (being the dead of winter), so i settled for regular bran muffins. also, this recipe (which is from my mom's recipe box, although i doubt she invented it) is super huge and makes a TON of muffins, so feel free to cut in half like i did for these pictures (although the printed recipe is its original version).

Bran Muffins
Ingredients

• 1 heaping cup of crisco
• 3 cups of sugar
• 4 eggs
• 2 cups boiling water
• 2 cups 100% nabisco bran
• 4 cups kelloggs all bran
• 5 tsp soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 5 cups sifted flour
• 1 quart buttermilk

Directions

1. Pour hot water onto nabisco bran and set aside to cool.
2. Cream crisco and sugar.
3. Add eggs
4. Add buttermilk, cooled nabisco mixture, all bran, soda and salt.
5. Fold in sifted dry ingredients until all is moistened.
6. Pour into 1 gallon ice cream pail and keep refrigerated.
7. Pour into creased muffin tin and bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes.
8. Makes 1 gallon and can keep in fridge 6-7 weeks.

the mixing went well enough. i couldn't get my mixer to work properly and it smelt like the engine was on fire. i thought maybe i had a crappy mixer (i don't) and it couldnt handle all the ingredients i was putting in. then i realized that the spinny-things (actual mixers?) weren't pushed in all the way. once i figured that out, everything went pretty smoothly. here is the mixig (after the spinny-things were put in properly).
i was trying to figure out how to make the perfect-sized muffin, and i discovered two things. 1) use an ice cream scoop with the metal bar to push the mixture out to dole out the creamy batter into paper cups. 2) these dont rise a ton, so if you want your cupcake overflowing, you should fill it more than 3/4 full.
in the end, here are the fabulous bran muffins in all their fiber glory. note, these muffins will keep you good and regular.

as always, i have learned something from my cooking experience.

1. sifting flour is fun. just make sure you sift over another bowl and not onto the counter. if you prefer to sift over a counter, make sure the counter is clean.
2. make sure that your mixer is set up properly. when you are fixing the spinny-things, make sure that the mixer, along with being turned off, is actually unplugged.
3. keep bandaids nearby in case of violent mixers.
4. probably don't want to eat two dozen of these in one setting. but don't let that prevent you from making them - its fun!
   

kitchen katastrophe: recession-proof salad

my cousin's wife made this recipe for our group christmas a few weeks ago. i instantly fell in love with it and got the recipe from her. it turns out, all the ingredients are really cheap or things you would have around the home. i don't know the name of it, so i have called it the recession-proof salad.

Recession-Proof Salad
Ingredients

1. one bag of coleslaw (not with the mayo, just the coleslaw-cut lettuce)
   
2. almonds
3. ramen noodles (asian style)
4. onions
5. 1/2 c. oil
6. 1 tsp. vinegar
7. 3 tbsp. sugar
8. 1 tsp. soy sauce

Directions

• Mix first four ingredients in bowl.
• Whisk last four ingredients together.
• Pour liquid mixture over salad to coat.
• Mix a few hours before serving.
  

easy! or so i thought...

the first time i made this, it turned out great! and it was delicious. pictured here.it has a sort of asian-flavor to it, but it's really light and refreshing - great to eat. the only catch is... well, since you basically get the ramen noodles 'wet' they don't last more than a few hours. then they get soggy and mushy and you dont want to eat it. BUT it's so cheap to make - you can just make more!

the other thing is that i made this a second time a few days later and the dressing would not mix. i had decided to halve the recipe since it was just my father and i eating it and it doesn't last well in the fridge. but the ingredients would not whisk together to form a glaze/dressing. i thought it was because the sugar was kind of clumpy and hard. so i started over and decided not to halve the dressing (some bizarre rationale thinking that the "science" behind it must be a certain amount has to mix together or something). it still didn't mix very well and my arm was KILLING me from beating it with a fork, but it was better. but then i forgot that i didn't end up halving the recipe, so i forgot to un-halve the salad part. so i had a full dressing on a half salad. it ended up being very very oily. but still good, of course.

the third time i made it, i had the same issue with the dressing, so i put it in my new mixer. it didn't really help getting the dressing together better. i know there is some sort of explanation that alton brown can give to help clarify why it worked once and then never again. was it the type of oil i was using? type of vinegar? how long i should be whisking? what?? in any case, this recipe is cheap and delicious, even when screwed up a bit...

for full-disclosure, i do not have a source or even a proper name for this recipe, so if this is yours or you know where to find it online, please let us know and we would love to give it proper citing.

kitchen katastrophe: easy maple bacon weenies

this recipe has been handed down a long way in my family - my brother's girlfriend to him to me. well, not actually me, i watched my brother make these for our family christmas a few weeks ago. WARNING: not for the faint vegetarian.

these are actually probably the easiest thing to make in the world - the only catch is how long to cook them. my brother calls these OIYM (orgasm in your mouth). for vegetarians or non-pork eating jews, these could be called Easy Maple Bacon Weenies.

Basically just put these three ingredients together:

• sausage weenies
• bacon
• brown sugar

bake in the oven at 350 degrees until done (about 35 minutes).

first, if you buy bacon in long strips, cut them into thirds as below.
oh, be sure your hands are clean. then, wrap the bacon around the weenies and place on a cookie sheet.
this can be a bit time consuming. when finished, dust the tops with brown sugar.
then bake. the final product (again, no camera at the family christmas) is delicious (or so they told me, i dont actually eat red meat) for meat-eaters. they should have a nice honeyed glaze on the top.

enjoy!

i was just thinking, if you are a vegetarian and you have kept reading this, then you just might be thinking these sound good but for some reason dont want to eat them. maybe there is a vegetarian option out there - vegan sausage with fake bacon? anything surrounded in brown sugar is probably good...

kitchen katastrophe: vin chaud and puppy chow

each year, my extended family gets together to celebrate christmas. in a new twist this year, everyone was asked to bring something to eat or drink - a christmas potluck, if you will. my aunt (hosting the event) agreed to take care of the turkey and main dishes with the family (28 of us in total) bringing appetizers, desserts, deliciously drinkable alcoholic drinks, etc. my original goal was to make the ULTIMATE christmas dessert: the buche de noel. this might just be the most complicated thing i have ever heard of. i chickened out at the last minute. instead, i opted to get my family drunk with vin chaud (hot wine, direct french translation) or as we know it in the US, mulled wine, and feed them with puppy chow.

i was at the grocery store when i made my decision and having only ever made vin chaud one other time, did not know a recipe off the top of my head. so, i called my dear friend, JaBootaay, who happily looked up a random vin chaud recipe online and read me the ingredients. this was chosen for a number of reasons: 1) easily found online and 2) not a ton of ingredients. so, here is the very basic mulled wine recipe:

Mulled Wine (Vin Chaud)
Ingredients

• 2 (750 ml) bottles merlot
• 3 cups orange juice, freshly squeezed
• 3 cups pineapple juice
• 1 1/2 cups lemon juice, freshly squeezed
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 36 whole cloves
• 4 cinnamon sticks
• 3/4 cup water

Directions

1. In a large stainless steel stockpot, combine all ingredients.
2. Place over medium heat and bring to a simmer.
3. Reduce heat to very low and keep warm for about 30 minutes to let the flavours blend.
4. Strain out the cloves and the cinnamon before serving.
5. Ladle in to heatproof cups.

sounds easy, right? in fact, it wasn't too bad. a few things, though: i only had one bottle of merlot on hand, so i combined it with a bottle of cabernet sauvignon. i have always heard that if you have a bottle of red wine you don't like, make mulled wine to mask the taste. i think this is still true. in addition, it's kind of hard to find nice, squeezable oranges at this time of year in north dakota, so i used 100% pure orange juice and lemon juice from a bottle.
JaBootaay suggested i use north dakota snow as water, but it took too long to melt, so i just used tap water (drinkable here, no one uses brita). the only other issue i had with this was the transporting of it. we filled two thermoses (thermi?) and brought the rest in a slow cooker. it went fast, so it almost wasn't worth it. if you're making this for a party of 8+ people, you could easily double the recipe.
apologies, i forgot my camera at home, so i don't have a final picture in a glass. but pretty much it looked like above. but in a glass. mmmmm...

in addition, one of my brothers made puppy chow - this is a great meal that almost everyone likes.

Puppy Chow
Ingredients

• 9 cups Corn Chex® cereal
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup peanut butter
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Directions

1. Into large bowl, measure cereal; set aside.
2. In a pot, melt chocolate chips, peanut butter and butter until smooth.
3. Stir in vanilla.
4. Pour mixture over cereal, stirring until evenly coated.
5. Pour into paper bag.
6. Add powdered sugar. Close bag; shake until well coated.

you may notice that the above recipe is slightly altered from that on the chex website. this is because my mom cut out the chex mix recipe from about 15-20 years ago to put into her recipe box and that is the actual recipe we use - no microwaving here (although i am sure it would work), but i wanted to give the good folks at chex their claim to the recipe.

so you can measure your success, here is our melting on the oven:
then we poured the completely smooth (not burnt - be sure not to melt at too high a temperature, this will entail lots of stirring and monitoring) over the cereal in a turkey roaster, quite appropriate.
this allowed us to shake the mix, rather than stir it. i feel this gives it a better coating.
finally, we pour the chocolatey cereal into a brown paper bag with powdered sugar as below.
then shake it like a polaroid picture. you can put into the fridge or walk-in cooler to harden and then enjoy. again, no final pictures, although you can click on the puppy chow wiki link above to see a nice picture. the powdered sugar is important. i once lugged a huge box of chex all the way to europe to make this for my friends. catch was, they don't have powdered sugar in france (that we could find), so we used regular sugar to coat. no go. it was horrible and everyone thought i was crazy for even liking the idea of this meal. anyway, made properly, this is enjoyed by everyone! AND this, combined with the wine, is a fully-balanced meal: carbs, dairy, fruits, alcohol, and chocolate!

since it's the holidays, i believe the kitchen gods have smiled down on me in making a fabulous few meals for my family: no huge katastrophe here. however, there are still a few things one can learn:

1. bring a camera to all family events.
2. no matter what, you will always underestimate the alcoholic needs of family members when forced to spend 6 hours together.
3. this type of puppy chow is NOT for dogs unless you want to clean up you-know-what...
   

kitchen katastrophe: fudge

every year for the holidays, my father makes homemade fudge to give to his customers. growing up, i used to "help" him make this delicious diabetic-coma inducing goodness. [helping in my family includes opening jars, licking spoons, and sneaking marshmallow fluff without anyone seeing or noticing the jar has been opened.] this year was no different; however, i tried to take a bit more control so i could document any plunders for others to avoid.

in my family, we are not skilled enough to "create" our own recipes - those printed on the backs of boxes and packages have always suited us well. to this end, we make "Never-Fail-Fudge" from the back of the marshmallow fluff container. i could write a whole other post about the deliciousness of fluff, but since fluff can be polarizing (you either love it or you hate it), i won't. for now, anyway. for now, enjoy this recipe and pictures. (i have copied the recipe from the internet below, although our recipe is slightly different - explained with the pics)

Never-Fail-Fudge
2 1/2 c. sugar
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 stick unsalted butter
1 5.33 oz. can evaporated milk (3/4 c.)
1 Jar (7 1/2oz) Marshmallow Fluff
3/4 tsp. vanilla
1 12-oz. package semisweet-chocolate pieces

Grease a 9-inch square baking pan; set aside. In large saucepan combine first 5 ingredients. Stir over low heat until blended. Heat to a full-rolling boil being careful not to mistake escaping air bubbles for boiling. Boil slowly, stirring constantly, 5 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and chocolate until chocolate is melted. Turn into greased pan and cool. Makes 2 1/2 pounds.

I actually really dislike the smell of melting butter. If you are the same, make sure someone else is around to stir (in this case, my father). We have a slightly different recipe (copied from an older version of fluff) which indicates that one should melt the butter in the pan first

then add the sugar and evaporated milk and bring that to a boil for at least 5 minutes as seen below.
we then remove the mixture from heat and stir in the chocolate chips until melted. at that point, we add the fluff and vanilla. (we don't actually add in the salt as called for in this recipe from the internet.)
continue stirring quickly until all ingredients are mixed in.
then pour into greased cookie sheet
slightly different than the directions on the website, but this one works well. mmmmm... delish!

rather than explain ALL that went wrong, as is always the case when i stand for too long in the kitchen, i thought i would put together some things we've learned or could've learned (you can guess which actually happened in this kitchen katastrophe and which didn't):

1. when asking someone to stir, make sure he / she knows for how long he / she is expected to stir. a constant stir for five minutes should be clearly noted as a CONSTANT stir rather than OCCASIONAL or OPTIONAL.
2. do not use a plastic spoon to stir unless the stirring is occasional. in any case, do not leave an unattended spoon in the pot. if you only have a plastic spoon, try not to use one that is the same color as your mixture. for example, if mixing chocolate, do not use black or brown. if mixing blueberries, do not use a blue plastic spoon. if the spoon melts to the bottom of the pot, it is hard to separate the "food" from the "plastic" if it's all the same color.
3. melted chocolate is hot hot hot. do not spoon onto partner's hands. if this is some sort of fetish of yours, make sure that it is between (or among, if that's your thang) consenting adults.
4. our recipe says to cool "at room temperature." do not try to speed up the cooling process by putting the cookie sheet on the deck in the middle of a blizzard. i don't know how to begin to describe the problems this could lead to.
5. do not try to sneak some sugar free vanilla syrup into the mixture, no matter how much you like vanilla-flavored things. the recipe does call for vanilla extract.

in any case, enjoy!

in support of danielle ...

the folks at overheard ... have witnessed a similar situation to danielle's second kitchen katastrophe:

Hello? I'm Eating a Cucumber Sandwich With No Crusts!
Guy #1: What are those, zucchini?
Guy #2, with sandwich: No, they're cucumbers.
Girl: Oh please, they're like the same thing.
Guy #2: No, they're totally different. Not every phallic-shaped green vegetable is the same thing.
Girl (pauses): Why does everything have to be about penises with you?

San Diego, California

kitchen katastrophe: asparagus strawberry walnut salad, salsa chicken, buddha punch

this is a story of miscommunication.

a few months ago, i invited my friends, ryan and regina, over for dinner because ryan and i had been talking for weeks about getting together to make dinner. since it was at my house (and i'm the pickiest eater of the three of us), i picked the recipes for salsa chicken and asparagus strawberry walnut salad along with a fun alcoholic drink.

we met at my house and ryan and regina sat at my kitchen bar. i clapped my hands and said, "ok, let's get to work! ryan, you can do the chicken and regina you can start the salad. i'll make the drink first since its a surprise and then help you guys." i was very proud of myself for delegating. they looked at each other and kind of said, "ok..." then they went to wash their hands. i didn't hear what they were saying. they came back and kind of stood there. i thought they needed encouragement. "ryan, do you want to start cleaning the chicken?" so he gets out the knives and gets ready. "regina, i think we have to wash the spinach and asparagus." so she gets to work. i make the drink as seen here:

Buddha Punch

Ingredients
5 dash(es) Orange Bitters
4 oz. Triple Sec
2 cup(s) Gewurztraminer (Or Riesling)
1 bottle(s) Champagne (Or sparkling wine)
1 cup(s) Light Rum
1 cup(s) Orange Juice (Fresh)
1/2 oz. Cherry Brandy
1/2 cup(s) Lemon Juice (Fresh)
1/2 oz. Sugar Syrup
Instructions
All the ingredients must be chilled. Stir everything (except champagne) into a punch bowl and stir. Just before serving, add the champagne and a large block of ice. Stir again and garnish with a few lime slices. This punch makes approximately 20 servings. [editor's note: just enough for 3 people!]

i was tickled pink because i found this drink that had a TON of alcohol in it (i needed to use up most of my bar). i thought if i told them what was in it they wouldn't drink it. we tasted it and it was scrumdidliumptious, but strong. when i finished i went over to help regina with the salad. the recipe was on the counter on the other side of the oven, so i read what to do next.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a heavy baking or broiler pan with foil. In a large bowl toss asparagus in olive oil and spread out in pan in a single layer.

So then i look at the recipe and see that it calls for

1/2 cup vegetable oil

regina had already spread the asparagus on the pan so we decided to just drizzle the oil over it instead of putting in a bowl to coat. she starts pouring the oil and after about 3 or 4 tablespoons she pointed out "this seems like a lot of oil." we all looked at it and agreed. we put it in the oven and figured we could add the rest of the oil later. i read the next part:

Meanwhile mix spinach, strawberries and walnuts in a large bowl; whisk together dressing ingredients.

regina gets everything together and i notice that ryan was asking me what to do next with the chicken. finally, i said, "well, here i'll tape the recipe up so it's easier for you to see." he and regina looked at each other then at me, "you told us not to look at the recipe." i was confused. then i realized what had happened - when i told them not to look at the recipe, i meant the DRINK recipe, but they thought i meant all three recipes. miscommunication #1 sorted - we all laugh.

we get back to work and check on the asparagus. it's so not getting crisp. this is about the same time that regina starts the dressing and when we realize that the amount of oil i had read her was for the DRESSING not to COAT the asparagus. we should've only used 1 tablespoon of oil. we take the asparagus out and pat it dry with paper towels and moved the asparagus to another baking sheet. miscommunication / error #2. some more laughter (a little bit louder because we've had a bit of buddha punch).

the dressing calls for the following ingredients:

• Dressing:
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup raspberry vinegar
• 1 teaspoon sugar (or to taste)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

in my defense, if you look at the recipe on the website, you may notice that the word "dressing" is a bullet point and mixed right in with the rest of the ingredients - this is why i didn't notice it. we mixed the ingredients in my dressing flask and tasted it - mmmm. it was delicious. a bit thick, but very very good.

meanwhile, the chicken was moving along nicely. here is the recipe:

Kim's Special Salsa Chicken

Ingredients
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 package taco seasoning mix
1 16 oz jar salsa (mild, medium or hot)
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Rub the chicken breasts with the taco seasoning mix. Pour some of the salsa into a 8x8" glass baking dish. Place the chicken in the dish. Cover the chicken with the rest of the salsa. Sprinkle the cheese over the top of the salsa and chicken breasts. Cover dish loosely with foil. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked.

when we sat down for dinner, we were talking and it came out that they thought they were coming over for dinner that * I * was going to make. no wonder they didn't seem too excited at first. i reminded ryan that we had talked about making dinner together and he didn't remember (although i have the IM conversation to prove it). miscommunication #3. we laughed and cried about that, as well (much more alcohol). we also talked about how it would be great if we had our own cable access show about...cooking food! which made us think back to wayne's world, the most famous cable access show. in case you missed the recent reunion, here it is:



anyway, the salad ended up being delicious when thrown together. here is the actual recipe formatted so that one does not screw up, which is very possible:

Asparagus & Strawberry-Walnut Salad

Salad Ingredients
1 lb fresh asparagus (tough ends snapped off), cut in 1-inch pieces
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1 package (10 oz.) fresh spinach, torn in bite-size pieces
1 pint strawberries, hulled and halved or sliced
1/2 cup toasted walnuts, coarsely chopped

Dressing Ingredients
:1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup raspberry vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar (or to taste)
1/4 teaspoon salt

Instructions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a heavy baking or broiler pan with foil. In a large bowl toss asparagus in 1 Tablespoon of olive oil and spread out in pan in a single layer. Roast until crisp-tender, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from oven and cool to room temperature. Meanwhile mix spinach, strawberries and walnuts in a large bowl; whisk together dressing ingredients. Add roasted asparagus and dressing to spinach mixture; toss to coat. Serve immediately.

we actually used pecans instead of walnuts and regina bought sugared pecans, so the salad was very refreshing and sweet. a few weeks later i made this recipe with my parents and it wasn't until i was shopping for the ingredients that i realized just why the salad dressing was so sweet and thick the first time i made it. we had not, in fact, bought raspberry vinegar (a watery-like substance), but raspberry vinagrette (a creamy, dressing-like substance). so basically, we bought salad dressing already made and then added oil and sugar and salt to it. it was double the oil necessary. when i got home from my parents, i noticed the leftover dressing in my fridge - it was a bottle of pink liquid at the bottom and yellow oil on top - the oil that we had added had separated. it was kind of gross. miscommunication (after the fact) #4.

we learned:
1) make sure it's clear who is cooking. if it's a group effort or a pot lock, it should be clear.
2) read the whole recipe a few times before beginning.
3) when writing / submitting a recipe online, make sure it's clear to everyone.
4) vinegar and vinaigrette are NOT the same thing.

kitchen katastrophe: apple crisp

a few years ago, one of my best friends, whitnee, and i went to cologne, germany for a weekend-away (we were living in paris at the time). we stayed at a hotel, which was a splurge for us since we were students (rather than a hostel). it was incredibly exciting because they had one thing you absolutely can not find in france: free continental breakfast. we were ecstatic!

saturday morning we got up and headed down to get our fill of free food before it was gone. they had this interesting looking apple-baked thing, so we each took a piece. since it was rather dessert-y, we ate our full breakfast before trying the apple crumble concoction.

it.
was.
delicious.

we went back for seconds. and thirds. and fourths. not fifths because by the fourth time we went up, we just grabbed three or four pieces at once. we couldn't get enough. we ate so much we made ourselves sick. we could not leave the hotel for the rest of the day - we had to lay in bed watching german MTV because we couldn't move. literally. but neither of us regretted it - it was that good.

since then and since returning to live in germany a few months ago, i have been on the lookout for the best apple crumble/strudel/crisp. i first searched high and low for apple strudels at every restaurant i went to: no go. they were too doughy. so now i have been on the look out for apple crumble, which is not as easy to come by. after reading the apple crsip post on our co-blog Leisurely Breakfast, i realized: i have to make it myself. and so we begin my first true baking adventure in deutschland.

i don't have a large, equipped kitchen, so i asked to use my friend jen's kitchen. she said yes (who would turn down homemade apple crisp??) and figured out what ingredients she had. since i'm in germany and searched for american recipes, i had to be careful to find one for which i could find all of the ingredients. i settled on this Apple Crisp recipe from betty crocker for two reasons:
1) it seemed easy (and therefore hard to mess up)
2) there weren't a lot of ingredients

Apple Crisp

4	medium tart cooking apples, sliced (4 cups)
3/4	cup packed brown sugar
1/2	cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1/2	cup quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats
1/3	cup butter or margarine, softened
3/4	teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4	teaspoon ground nutmeg
	Cream or Ice cream, if desired

1.	Heat oven to 375ºF. Grease bottom and sides of 8-inch square pan with shortening.
2.	Spread apples in pan. In medium bowl, stir remaining ingredients except cream until well mixed; sprinkle over apples.
3.	Bake about 30 minutes or until topping is golden brown and apples are tender when pierced with a fork. Serve warm with cream.

A few things:
First, apparently they don't make the same sort of "brown sugar" in germany that they do in the US. I am thinking of the kind that is slightly moist and very fine that you can pack and make into shapes (like cones and stuff - not animals). Here is the brown sugar I found in Germany:

can you tell that it's basically white sugar dyed brown? that's what it looked like to us.

in any case, here are all the ingredients put together (jen only had one measuring cup with american measurements, so i put everything else in these cut glasses):

the recipe is very easy because it basically calls for you to cut the apples (believe it or not jen had to give me directions on the proper way to "slice" an apple) and then mix the dry mixture. oh, i should also say that i didn't realize jen didn't have a baking pan or glass thingie to bake the apple crisp in so we ended up using the metal pie thingie from above that her mom had brought for her from the US.

putting the two together from above basically gives you this:

i was worried that the top mixture was too dry and was thinking of adding water or more butter, but jen told me that the apples would release moisture and help it get crispy. she was right.

as you can see, it doesn't look THAT much different once its cooked. the top looks a little more "cooked" but it looks very similar to the pre-baked version. you can tell it's done by poking the apples - once you can easily cut through them, it's ready.

in my attempt to make a pretty picture with ice cream, i dropped a beautiful scoop of VERY expensive Häagen-Dazs ice cream on to the floor (6 euros for a pint - that's nearly NINE DOLLARS). jen memorialized it:
the final product looked and tasted ok. jen thought it was too sweet, i thought it wasn't crumbly enough. maybe i didn't mix the topping part enough. oh, i also was supposed to add "softened" butter to the crumble, but i put it in the microwave and it half melted. that might have messed with the consistency of the topping.

definitely a recipe worth trying. and what have we learned from this experience?
1) when traveling to europe, bring your own american brown sugar
2) when checking to make sure you have all the ingredients, also make sure you have all the appliances (bakeware AND measuring cups in the right measurments)
3) don't throw ice cream on the floor. if you do, do not eat it, just let it go.
4) watch the microwave when you're trying to "soften" butter

looks like i'm still on the search for the best apple crumble...

kitchen katastrophe: the cucumber

my friend had just received a promotion at work and to congratulate her, i invited her over for a home cooked meal. we were students doing internships, rather poor, and living in paris in small apartments with little to no kitchen. i had just started reading recipes online at work while i was bored and found one that i thought would be easy enough for me to make: chicken in a red sauce and a nice side salad.

lisa and i were new friends - we didn't know each other THAT well and this would have been her first time seeing my apartment. it was a small studio - 17m squared. she sat on the couch while i baked and watched me - 2 feet away in the kitchen. she laughed when i put on rubber gloves to handle the chicken. i think she thought i was being funny, but at the time, chicken really grossed me out. i have since mostly gotten over the disgust of raw meat, but sometimes it comes back and i still keep a pair of rubber gloves on hand.

we had a nice conversation and while the chicken cooked i began preparing the side salad. i had a beautiful cucumber from the store that i held up in one hand with the knife in the other. "would you like some cucumber on your salad?" i asked, quite pleased with myself."suuuure..." she replies hesitantly. she was irish and i assumed her hesitancy was because they didn't put cucumbers on salads in ireland. i continue chatting as i am cutting and placing the slices of delicious veggie on the small salad plates i had. she stares at me and finally says, "but, you know that's a zucchini, right?"
i looked at the half-cut cucumber in my hand and realized it DID look a little funny. i didn't want my new friend to discover my ineptitude with all things culinary, so i said, "of course, i knew that." i had NO IDEA. she wasn't fooled. we decide to add it to the chicken to make our own sort of ratatouille.

the morale of this kitchen katastrophe is three-fold:

1. bring a dictionary to the store in a foreign country
2. cookbooks are invaluable - keep one on hand for last-minute reference
3. pretend you know what you're doing no matter what!

kitchen katastrophe: an introduction

one of my favorite tv stations in the US is the food network, but no matter how many hours i spend watching, learning, and dreaming about food, it seems that i was not born to have skills in the kitchen. how this will translate into my love life ("the way to a man's heart is through his stomach") i don't know - don't want to think about it. i have survived thus far because my wonderful friends appreciate any attempt i make (and don't mind ordering pizza when they came for chicken parm). to prepare for the inevitable kitchen katastrophe, i keep a fully stocked liquor cabinet and am a huge purveyor of wine and champagne (two things you can hardly screw up).

i've managed to stay fed because restaurants sure love my business and, honestly, i like being served. i love looking at new menus at restaurants and placing my order (most often with some change because i'm unfortunately a picky eater). i love having warm, flavorful food delivered to me. i love take out - getting food and cozying up at home with some wine or a beer. and more than all this, i love not having to clean up afterwards. one of my issues with cooking is that i will never understand how one can get enjoyment from something that takes longer to make and clean up than to use (cooking and cleaning certainly take longer for me than eating). i realize this is a concept that others have grasped, but i am just not intellectually there yet. i hope one day to enjoy cooking and baking. i think i am half there because i LOVE owning kitchen appliances. i have never tried coffee, but one day i will own an espresso machine even if i never use it. it will go nicely with my mixer, blender, foreman grill, waffle maker, crockpot, and others. (all of which, aside from the blender because i love me margaritas, have only been used once or twice. some are still in their original boxes.)

admittedly all of the money i have spent on kitchen utensils and supplies has not been put to good use - and for the next month, while i am in europe, is certainly a waste of money sitting in boxes in my parent's basement. i hope to use this weekly column to 1) learn to enjoy or at least appreciate cooking 2) get some use out of all of my food network knowledge and the money i have used keeping crate and barrel in business and 3) provide you with some humor along the way. so, sit back and enjoy my katastrophic kitchen errors each monday.