kitchen katastrophe: fudge

every year for the holidays, my father makes homemade fudge to give to his customers. growing up, i used to "help" him make this delicious diabetic-coma inducing goodness. [helping in my family includes opening jars, licking spoons, and sneaking marshmallow fluff without anyone seeing or noticing the jar has been opened.] this year was no different; however, i tried to take a bit more control so i could document any plunders for others to avoid.

in my family, we are not skilled enough to "create" our own recipes - those printed on the backs of boxes and packages have always suited us well. to this end, we make "Never-Fail-Fudge" from the back of the marshmallow fluff container. i could write a whole other post about the deliciousness of fluff, but since fluff can be polarizing (you either love it or you hate it), i won't. for now, anyway. for now, enjoy this recipe and pictures. (i have copied the recipe from the internet below, although our recipe is slightly different - explained with the pics)

Never-Fail-Fudge
2 1/2 c. sugar
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 stick unsalted butter
1 5.33 oz. can evaporated milk (3/4 c.)
1 Jar (7 1/2oz) Marshmallow Fluff
3/4 tsp. vanilla
1 12-oz. package semisweet-chocolate pieces

Grease a 9-inch square baking pan; set aside. In large saucepan combine first 5 ingredients. Stir over low heat until blended. Heat to a full-rolling boil being careful not to mistake escaping air bubbles for boiling. Boil slowly, stirring constantly, 5 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and chocolate until chocolate is melted. Turn into greased pan and cool. Makes 2 1/2 pounds.

I actually really dislike the smell of melting butter. If you are the same, make sure someone else is around to stir (in this case, my father). We have a slightly different recipe (copied from an older version of fluff) which indicates that one should melt the butter in the pan first

then add the sugar and evaporated milk and bring that to a boil for at least 5 minutes as seen below.
we then remove the mixture from heat and stir in the chocolate chips until melted. at that point, we add the fluff and vanilla. (we don't actually add in the salt as called for in this recipe from the internet.)
continue stirring quickly until all ingredients are mixed in.
then pour into greased cookie sheet
slightly different than the directions on the website, but this one works well. mmmmm... delish!

rather than explain ALL that went wrong, as is always the case when i stand for too long in the kitchen, i thought i would put together some things we've learned or could've learned (you can guess which actually happened in this kitchen katastrophe and which didn't):

1. when asking someone to stir, make sure he / she knows for how long he / she is expected to stir. a constant stir for five minutes should be clearly noted as a CONSTANT stir rather than OCCASIONAL or OPTIONAL.
2. do not use a plastic spoon to stir unless the stirring is occasional. in any case, do not leave an unattended spoon in the pot. if you only have a plastic spoon, try not to use one that is the same color as your mixture. for example, if mixing chocolate, do not use black or brown. if mixing blueberries, do not use a blue plastic spoon. if the spoon melts to the bottom of the pot, it is hard to separate the "food" from the "plastic" if it's all the same color.
3. melted chocolate is hot hot hot. do not spoon onto partner's hands. if this is some sort of fetish of yours, make sure that it is between (or among, if that's your thang) consenting adults.
4. our recipe says to cool "at room temperature." do not try to speed up the cooling process by putting the cookie sheet on the deck in the middle of a blizzard. i don't know how to begin to describe the problems this could lead to.
5. do not try to sneak some sugar free vanilla syrup into the mixture, no matter how much you like vanilla-flavored things. the recipe does call for vanilla extract.

in any case, enjoy!